100 Ways To Annoy Kisame
by UchihaKarasu22
Summary: Kisame Hoshigaki.....how much you can do to annoy a mutant shark. Title explains all. Please if you cannot control bladder...do not read! Ok... I'm joking!


**Disclaimer:**

**I do not own Kisame... but I own myself...**

**ENJOY! 'Cause definately did writing this!**

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Ask him if Jaws is his daddy.

Ask him for Jaws's phone number.

If he says he doesn't have one yell, "Don't be jealous!"

On his birthday, tell him you're taking him somewhere special.

Pull up to **PETCO**.

When he's walking in, skip around him singing, "**PETCO**, where the pets go."

Take him to the fish tank aisle.

Ask him his measurements for the tank.

If he protests that they don't fit, take his sword and threaten to hack him into pieces.

Watch him as he runs and cries around the store.

Watch him get sent into the Pet Manners Department.

Laugh when he is taught commands.

Bring him a present for how good he's doing with his training.

...which will be a bag of goldfish.

Give him a a knife, fork, and a napkin.

When he asks say, "It's a treat boy!"

When he refuses, poke him in both eyes….causing his mouth to open.

Use that opportunity to shove the fish in his mouth.

Yell, "Sorry fishies!" as they slide down.

Watch Kisame as he chokes…

…..a lot.

While he's sleeping, rub lotion on his face.

When he asks why say, "You got a lot of cracks on your skin!"

When he tells you they're gills, splash water in them.

When he begins choking for air yell, "You're not a true shark!" as you run out his room crying.

Take him scuba diving.

When swimming in the pool, yell to the Akatsuki members, "Shark!"

** EVERY WAKING MINUTE……**

Sing the JAWS theme when he's taking a shower,

during dangerous missions,

and when he's searching through the fridge.

Use his sword as a guitar.

Dye your face and hair blue.

When he asks ask, "Are you on drugs?"

When he denies the fact he's on drugs, yell "He's in denial!"

Tell him when he was in **PETCO** you noticed him checking out that girl goldfish.

When he refuses say, "Oh yeah….you like _**MEN**_ goldfish now."

Tell him he looks blue.

When he tells you his face is blue yell, "Then stop holding your breath!" And slap him in the face.

Narrate his swimming….left… right… left… right……

Shave his head bald.

When he asks tell him he barely had hair to begin with and that blue wasn't really working out.

Tell him blue isn't his color, that pink is.

Cook him steamed seaweed.

When he tells you he's a carnivore say, "Exactly…. Duh I know the difference."

When he's taking a shower, flush the toilet and make the water cold.

When he asks why you did that tell him, "You're used to the Atlantic being cold…."

Run every time you see him.

When he's undercover yell, "Look! It's Kisame Hoshigaki!"

When he's walking, run into his cape.

Laugh as he freaks out.

Hide in a metal cage.

Tell him it's a science project and you need a shark to bite through to see if it's shark-resistant.

When he begins walking away tell him you're locked in and give him the Puss in Boots look.

Lock him in instead.

Make him watch Shark Week with you.

Every time you see a shark, point and yell "You look great there! Did ya lose weight?"

Tell him his mom was ugly.

When he cries, tell him he didn't inherit the bad looks….but snicker the whole time when you comfort him.

Teach him to ice skate.

When he slips yell, "God it's just like swimming!"

Poke him with a full shrimp.

Then wave it in his face.

Tell him you have a pool.

When he believes you, point at the ocean.

Jump on his back and demand a sharky ride.

Yell, "Wheeeeeeee!" (Like Cheese from Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends)

The whole time……..

Give him a hug.

When he asks why tell him, "Its show Appreciation Day for Sharks!"

When he asks really say, "No….sharks stink!" And then push him over.

Make a cake…..

….full of seaweed.

Tell Itachi that Kisame loves him.

Watch Kisame get beaten up a lot.

Again….

…and again.

Every time he talks yell, "Look a talking shark!"

Then cry because he's not a true shark….for days.

Throw tons of fish food at him from **PETCO**.

When he throws it back yell, "He doesn't like this kind!"

Dance around him 24/7.

Sing "Ba Ba Black Sheep" to him but change it to "Bite Bite Blue Shark" not-stop.

Pinch his nose and ears with a crab's claw.

Poke him when he trying to sharpen his teeth.

Ask him to watch Finding Nemo with you.

Point out that Bruce looks like his mom.

Comfort him again while laughing uncontrollably.

Put fish food in his glass when he's not looking at a high-standard Akatsuki party.

When he begins choking on it say, "Ewww! It's his breakfast!"

Ask him to make you a shark made out of water.

When he puts all of his chakra and time into it, put out a flamethrower and burn to the ground.

Then chase him around with it.

Give him some sushi.

When he asks what it's made of yell, "You're **MOMMA**!"

Laugh as he spits it all over the place.

Laugh to basically death when he begins throwing up for days and keeps saying, "I'm sorry Momma!"

Once he's finally over it tell him, "It was really made out of your Dadda."

Laugh as he repeats the cycle….again.

**And finally….**

Show him you're sorry for all the things you've done by giving him a hug….then pushing him down again!


End file.
